Men's 1s vs Horsham M3

The hockey gods must’ve been on holiday, because instead of the usual sideways rain and gale-force winds, Hailsham kicked off their season in actual sunshine. Horsham 3s arrived ready for a contest, but what they got was a 6–0 lesson in finishing.

The opener came from Kieran, who slotted home a short corner routine that looked suspiciously like something straight off the training pitch (don’t worry, it probably won’t happen again). Not long after, Jamie reminded everyone why he plays up front, carving through the defence and drilling the ball into the bottom corner.

Half-time: 2–0, and Hailsham looking comfortable.

The second half was more one-way traffic. Kieran doubled his tally with another short corner, great news for anyone with Kieran in their fantasy team (me). Finn then grabbed his first goal for the 1s, sparking the kind of celebrations that suggested we’d just won the league.

Then came the moment of the match: Dave conjured up an outrageous assist, floating the ball perfectly for Josh SJ to volley home like it was Champions League, not Horsham 3s. Jamie added his second soon after to wrap up the scoring, and with that, Horsham were done.

Unusually, the umpires kept their cards pocketed all game for Hailsham — possibly out of shock at Hailsham’s discipline, or maybe because they blinked and missed the fouls.

Final score: Hailsham 6 – 0 Horsham.

MoM: Jamie, for two goals and endless running.

DoD: Bailey, for attempting a first-time pass, connecting with nothing, and proving that sometimes the air is harder to hit than the ball